One of the things my pastor said the other night was that women are to be The Mighty Warriors for the kingdom. Our family is under attack by the enemy and we need to stand with our husbands - as a helpmeet - to guard and protect our families. He said the Proverbs 31 wife is a powerful ally.
Suddenly, I know how Gideon felt.
What? Me? Really? A Mighty Warrior? To do battle against satan and his minions? I can't even get my son to pick up his socks off the floor.
Being a Mighty Warrior is easy to do if the husband is walking with the Lord. But, what if my husband is not standing with me? What if he's in his recliner, watching television? Yes, Lord, this Proverbs 31 wife-wannabe is waiting for her husband to be a Psalm 1 man.
Oh, I long for my husband to walk with the Lord so he can be the spiritual leader of our family. Right now, I am carrying that mantle and it is hard. It is a daunting task. The thought of being responsible for the spiritual growth and eternal destinies of my children (AND their children) scares me. What if I mess up? (In fact, thinking back to the events of this past week alone, I know I have messed up.)
Lord, please help me not to be afraid to stand up for you - to be Your Mighty Warrior, whether my husband comes alongside me or not. Help me to start in my world - where you have me right now. Amidst the mess, the laundry, the cooking, the grocery shopping, the cleaning, the budgeting, the being unappreciated, the repetitiveness and the mundane. Help me to see You and to remember that I have a mission from the King. And no mission is too small for Your kingdom.
Help me, please. I need You.
Fill me with Your spirit. Help me to shine here. And in turn, have my boys catch the light and may they also glisten, no, not just glisten, may they impact their own worlds like fireworks on the 4th of July. I want them to be on fire for You!
You know my weaknesses. You know the state of my vessel, Lord. Broken spirit, weak vascillating, emotional, temperamental and impatient. But what I have learned from this and the other conferences you have brought me to is that perfection is not mandatory - nor expected. You just want a willing heart. That - I have. And that is all I can offer You.
Thank you, Heavenly Father.