Friday, June 26, 2009

On Letting Go


My firstborn son is now 18. Where has the time gone? In a couple of months, he is heading off to college. He will be on his own. May I confess something? It terrifies me.

Do You remember the prayers that I have prayed for him daily? There were different variations but they were more or less prayers for his safety. I had no clue what I was doing when we took him home from the hospital. I felt inadequate and overwhelmed. I still do some days. But somehow he managed to thrive and grow -- inspite of his inexperienced parents.

Can you stand one more prayer? It is this: may he fulfill the purpose You have in mind for him long before he was born.

I cannot go where he is going (although I had a dream the other night that I am enrolled in his English class). I cannot tell him what to do. Or more importantly, what NOT to do. I cannot protect him. But, Lord, I know You can. I hold on to Your promise that You will never leave him nor forsake him. There is no safer place for him to be than in Your care. He is his own person now.

Thank you Lord, for giving him to me. He is a wonderful son - kind, patient (must not be hereditary), funny, gentle and compassionate.
And now, Lord I give him back to you. I hope I have raised him to Your satisfaction.


Joyful said...

How'd I miss this post?? Beautiful. I will be in your shoes this time next year. I can't imagine our home without our one and only. Yet, in many ways we have been raising him for this very moment. It's exciting, yet heart-wrenching at the same time.

This song is a killer, and I'm sure you've heard it, but may it be a reminder to you today.


deb said...

May I share in that prayer, my kids are growing up so fast. ( son-20. daughters - 19-11 )
I like that you have faith, and I hope you are always blessed with joy in how his life unfolds.

Anonymous said...

This is beautiful. My sons are still young, but my prayer is the same. God bless you and your boy.

Dawn said...

this just makes my heart sigh... my daughter is headed into her second yer of high school... and i can feel the end slipping closer adn closer every day. your prayer... is beautiful. and your heart... strong.