Overwhelmed...by God's goodness

This morning I attended an event at church called Arise! Cry Out! - a Worldwide Day of Extraordinary Prayer for Children and Schools sponsored by Moms In Touch International (MITI). Can you imagine the power harnessed by mothers from 130 countries simultaneously praying for the children of the world? You know that definitely moves God's heart.

And when His heart is moved, things happen.

Let me tell you what He did for me today.

They needed ushers for the event so I volunteered. As a result I had to sit in the back at one of the designated usher's chairs. When it was time to pray, I joined a group of ladies towards the front. On the way back to my seat I noticed a latecomer. She was an older lady, mid-70's, sitting by herself at the very last pew. She looked like she wanted to be left alone. During the next prayer session, instead of going back to my former group, I approached the lady instead. Hesitating a little, I asked her if it's okay to pray with her. She smiled and nodded.

She motioned for me to go first. I started praying that my college freshman find a good bible believing church close to Stanford and for him to continue in his Christian walk. I also prayed for my younger son who is still home. I heard her laugh when I mentioned that my little one is challenging but he keeps us on our toes. When it was her turn, she prayed for her daughters. I listened intently to her prayers so I can agree with her. Then all of a sudden I heard "Menlo Park" and "Palo Alto." Huh? At first I thought I did not hear her correctly. It turns out she is familiar with the area and knows of not just one, but TWO good "sound" churches within a mile of campus.

I mean, can you believe it?

There were a hundred women at that church this morning. Of all the ladies that I could have sat next to - God led me to the one who has two daughters living in the Palo Alto area. I looked down and was surprised to see the tear stains on my jeans. I just cried. And cried. And cried some more at God's goodness. Later on, she came to my seat and gave me a piece of paper with the names of the churches AND the service times. She also gave me her contact info. Then she left.

I said a prayer for her.

Oh, my heart is just overwhelmed and my eyes swollen from tears of gratitude to our wonderful, wonderful God. He hears our cries. He answers our prayers. Sometimes there's a wait. Sometimes immediately that you can almost hear Him whisper, "I am here."

My faith is renewed. My desire to pray more is strengthened. I am standing in the gap.

Thank you, Lord Jesus!

When the "D" in DH does not mean "dear"...

Today is my Dh's birthday. I made a card for him the other night. And I am thankful for that because had I made it LAST night, it would be a VERY, VERY different version.

This is the version from the other night:
I used espresso colored cardstock (Bazzill - the best!) accented with blue. The cover read: The Things I Love About You. Inside I stuck some chipboard that said, "your smile," "your laugh," "your sense of humor," "your hugs" and a big one that said "i love everything about you." And added my own little notes to go with each. Ahhhhh, add in the rainbows and unicorns and we're set.

This is what it would have been had I made it last night:
It would be on a cheap construction paper. Black to match his heart. The inscription would read:
Where the heck were you when I was trying to reach you this afternoon???? Your son had a really bad asthma attack! We're 30 miles from home - and his inhaler. Why were you not picking up your darn phone? You are an insensitive and selfish lout and I hope you choke on your steak.

Harsh, right?

I did not even want to give him the "other night" card this morning - thinking he did not deserve it. I was still so mad! I was mad-reading through my Psalms and Proverbs, when I came across this:

Psalm 126: 5-6
Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy. He who continually goes forth weeping, bearing seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.

Yes, I have been sowing in tears, begging God to soften my husband's heart. And days like yesterday I get disheartened that it may never happen. But that phrase caught my attention: Shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.

Sheaves? What are sheaves? (Because I was focused on the "rejoicing" part.)

Dictionary.com said sheaves is a plural of sheaf. O-kay, that was helpful. When I clicked on sheaf it said: 1. A bundle of cut stalks of grain or similar plants bound with straw or twine.

It did not make sense at first but the Holy Spirit just reminded me - very patiently, I might add:

Holy Spirit: It means a harvest.

Me: Huh, what? (I'm not a morning person.)

Holy Spirit: From the seeds you've been sowing in tears. You know, your prayers? (I can imagine Him saying "duh!" and sighing as He tells me this. Is the Holy Spirit allowed to sigh?) Don't stop praying. It's coming.

Me: Oh!

God's grace just amazes me. And His patience and mercy. Even in the midst of my anger and resentment, He comes in and comforts me with just the right words to keep me going. I may not see any changes now. It may even look worse than before, but a harvest is coming. I don't even know if my husband knows about it. He is in for a ride.

We serve an awesome God.

Now, I'm off to wish my husband a happy birthday. And mean it.

Update: I did call after I hit the "publish post" button. My attitude was totally different from when I started typing the title. I had a smile in my heart and my face and said "Happy Birthday!!!" I don't think he was expecting a call considering my icy attitude this morning because he sounded surprised. He thanked me for the card. I did not even mention anything about last night.
I cried after I hung up the phone. Tears of gratitude and praise brimming in my eyes because I see - truly see - God's hand in this. He really has the power to change hearts. Mine, definitely this morning in the span of an hour and his, well, sometime in the future.
Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Lord! I'm looking forward to that harvest.

So, that's what God was up to...

For months, God has put it in my heart to dig deeper into His Word. Not just the surface reading I do everyday but to really dig deeper. I have this desire to have the scriptures come alive. I don't want to just read it, I want to live it!

The search began...

It just so happened a few weeks ago that the leader of our small groups was giving away her old books. The one I picked was Kay Arthur's book, How to Study the Bible. I looked into her Precepts Ministries and their Inductive Study Bible. But God knows that with my perfectionism, it may not work for me because: 1) I have to find the right bible because somehow the 6 I have at home wouldn't work, 2) I would get hung up on the perfect markers to use that would not bleed onto the back page, 3) the perfect color ink, 4) the perfect pen, 5) am I using the right symbol? or 6) how come I can't draw a decent flame? (Welcome to my mind.) God wanted me to dig deeper NOW, not the forever it would take me to find the right components.
Well, remember the day I got sick and went home? Now I know why it happened.

Here's the rest of the story.

The next day I woke up still feeling a bit icky so I called in sick. I also debated whether to take my son to school or have him stay home with me. Realizing that he's better off learning than hanging around with whatever germs I may have, we both got up and I took him to school.

By mid-morning, and after one more serving of the chicken soup, I was 100% better. Then I remembered that renowned bible teacher, Dr. Chuck Missler of the Koinonia Institute, was coming to our church at lunchtime. So, I went there.

Oh, my. Talk about divine appointments.

His message pierced my heart. You are here because God called you. His questions reverberated in my head: What is God calling you to do? Why has He called you?

He also urged us to raise the bar in our personal walk with God and to commit to a systematic program to learn the Bible.

At the end of the session, I just knew. This is it! This is why I got sick yesterday. This is why I had a miraculous recovery today! I needed to be here, not at work.

So I stood in line to enroll. All the while the enemy whispered in my ear: Hey, is it wise to spend $100 when you have huge monthly college tuition payments to make? You know you're not going to do it.

Well, I did it anyway.

And you know what? When I got home, I received an e-mail from my husband saying that the reimbursement from his Canada business trip from months ago finally came in - for $139. Praise God, I even got an extra $39!

So now I am officially enrolled in the Koinonia class on track for a bronze medal. I'm not really after the medal, I'm after something much valuable.

Ah, the irony of it all

I have a confession to make: I hate to cook.

That's not very Christian-like, is it? But it is what it is. I would rather work on our budget spreadsheet or do school stuff with my children than plan what to have for dinner. Clearly, cooking and housekeeping are not among my gifts.

To complicate things further, my husband loves to eat. But not leftovers. (I, on the other hand, am a big fan of leftovers.) I remember when we were newlyweds, he always raved about his grandmother's cooking. Well, being the perfectionist that I am, I know I am never going to attain the culinary expertise of his late beloved grandmother.

Nevertheless we have managed to stay married for 23 years despite my dislike of cooking and his love of eating. And I figured if we're all still alive after my years of imperfect cooking, we're good.

He travels a lot for business. It's not easy for us but one of the perks of having him gone is I can make simple meals. Or just eat leftovers.

He left yesterday for a trip overseas. My older son is away at college. So it's just me and my 9 year old. Ah, leftover heaven!

Alas...

This morning I woke up with a headache. Got up, took my son to school and went to work. Headache still lingered but this time joined by chills and soon after, nausea. I tried to ignore it but by lunchtime I knew I either had to leave and pick up my son immediately or he will have to spend the night at school.

One thing I know: I cannot get sick. Who is going to take him to school? My sister just had a baby and can't get around. My Dad is having dizzy spells. I have no back up so I have to get better.

I know what I had to do. I need chicken soup. And no, the Campbells variety won't do it. I need this:

The ultimate comfort food from my childhood. It's called chicken tinola - and it is goooooood! (Photo courtesy of the internet.)

Either this or get the ready made Pho Ga from the Vietnamese restaurant.

Problem #1: We're out of chicken and I only had $10 in cash left until Friday. So the ready made Pho Ga is out. I had to stop by the grocery store and get the chicken plus the other ingredients (ginger and papaya).

Problem #2: My son has food allergies on top of being a very picky eater. He won't be able to eat that with all the ginger I am planning on using.

So there I was, in the grips of some virus which I hope is just the 24-hour variety, in my kitchen cooking not one, but TWO chicken dishes. Yes, TWO! I never did this when there were four of us in the house. I just had to shake my head and laugh at this turn of events.

Don't you just love God's sense of humor?

Here I am seven hours later and feeling much, much better. The soup did its job. The headache is gone, so is the nausea and I can even sit here in front of the fan and not shiver. My son also had his favorite dish, so we're both happy.

Thank you, Lord, for the chicken soup and for giving me the strength to cook not just one, but two dishes.

The menu for tomorrow night? Leftovers, of course.

Welcome, Baby!

Hello, world.

This is Jeffrey, my baby sister's first (and after 18 hours of labor, she thinks "only") baby.

He came yesterday via C-section at 3:39 p.m. weighing in at 8 lbs 6 oz. and 21 inches long.

I met him a half hour after he was born. Oh, so fresh from heaven.

I am smitten.

Exercising the Shield of Faith

"I take the Shield of Faith

May I be ready for satan's fiery darts of

doubt, denial and deceipt

so I will not be vulnerable to spiritual defeat."

- From The Warriors Prayer/Turning Point Ministries

These last few days I found myself a frequent visitor in the Throne of God.

It has been a week since we dropped off our son to college. What a rollercoaster of emotions in just 7 days.

At church last Sunday, he served as an usher with me for the last time. Before we left I asked the pastor to pray over him (I cried). Then our fellow ushers and my very pregnant sister who came to see him off prayed for him as well (Yup, more tears). Then another lady, who recenty started attending our church after 20 years of being a missionary gathered my two sons and I in a circle and prayed over us, too (By this time I was a blubbering mess). Needless to say, my son was covered in prayer.

We left Monday and stayed at a hotel for the night.

Move-in day was 8:00 a.m. Tuesday. It was so exciting because the students memorized all the names of the incoming freshmen and when we arrived at the dorm, they all yelled out his name. It made him feel so welcome. I spent the day organizing his room even moved the bed and desk to make it flow better (thank you some other Mom who watches HGTV). I put the new bible that I bought for him by his bed. Inside I tucked my well-worn copy of The Warrior's Prayer. It is a prayer detailing how to put on the armor of God. For the last few years, that is the prayer that I use to cap my morning devotions and to pray for other people.

We attended the Convocation ceremony later in the afternoon and had a dorm meeting with the Faculty Advisor. By 6:00 p.m., she said it was time for the students to send the parents out into the world. They gave us a pack of Kleenex, a Sharpie marker to leave a message for our children on the windows and a half hour to say goodbye.

Let's just say I made good use of the Kleenex.

We left for home on Wednesday morning.

Thursday night after our bible study, I came home in a semi-panic since I haven't been able to reach him that day. I tried Skype, text, e-mail and calling on his cell phone. I know the service for T-Mobile is very sporadic there. Oh, did the enemy have a grand time with me.

For a few minutes I imagined all sorts of bad things happening to him. Why did I not get his roommate's cell phone? Why did I not get the contact info of any of the RA's? Nor the Resident Faculty?

This went on for a good hour. Then I recognized it for what it was - a spiritual attack.

I took a deep breath. Remembered to pray. I needed to flex my Shield of Faith. That eventhough I can't see Him nor him, I believe that God will take care of my son. And that his time is in His hands. He will be here until God says his time is up - and not a minute nor a second too soon.

Last night at our Sunday night service I was still sad. A new usher was standing at his station. It was the last night of our study in the Song of Solomon about courtship, love and marriage. My friend, Cheryl, told me something profound when I expressed my worries about the things he will encounter at school. She told me God prepared him for it through that study. That he will know how to go through friendship, courtship, how to treat a woman, how to flee from immoral activities, etc. I am so thankful that God did that because I never could have talked to my son about these subjects.

He will start his first class in 8 minutes. (More prayers that he heard the alarm clock.) I asked him to take a picture of his first day of school for me, you know, for the scrapbook.

I know he's an adult now but maybe he'll humor his mother this one last time.

The Countdown Begins

Dear Son,

In four days, you, your Dad, brother, Grandpa (if he's feeling well) and I, are heading north on I-5 in a rented minivan to drive 7-1/2 hours - or so I'm told - to drop you off to college.

I know you were shaking your head at some bizarre things I did this weekend. But there are reasons behind it.

1. I wrote your initials on 50 brand new mechanical pencils - yes I know they were disposable pencils. And no, I'm not saying your future roommate is a kleptomaniac. I did it hoping that in the midst of your busy day you will think of me when you grab a pencil.
2. I started crying while cleaning the Brita pitcher for your dorm. (There is no explanation for this. It just happened.)
3. I tried to stuff 18 years' worth of memories into three Target bins and a mini refrigerator.
4. You know the three column list of things to bring printed in 8 pt Calvin & Hobbes font/landscape that normally would put me on overdrive as I realized we will be spending all weekend at Bed Bad & Beyond, Costco, Marshalls, Big 5, Target & Staples? It became a welcome distraction instead. If I'm hunting for Twin-XL bedsheet with the right thread count I can't cry, right?
5. I was sad when you listened and FINALLY cleaned your room.
6. I kept tabs on the remaining days and found myself saying, "This is going to be his last Monday, Tuesday, etc. here."

Then I wondered...

1. I wonder if you can feel my love some 472.83 miles away?
2. I wonder if you will look forward to coming back?
3. I wonder if things will ever be the same?
4. I wonder if you still walk with Him?

You see, son, I'm not crazy. I'm just sad at seeing you go. Our home will not be the same without you. But I know I have to pull myself together, trust God and just -- let go.

It is time.

So on Monday, we will drive you there, unload the bins and walk you to your dorm room. But I know that after we walk over the threshold, things will change - and not just because there is one less person heading back. It will be the beginning of your journey on your own path. The one that God meant just for you long before you were born. I can't wait to see what He has in store for you.

Meanwhile I will be here, just as I have done before, praying for you every step of the way. May you always walk with Him.

Love,

Mom